Actually it was my tumblr post, but I'm kinda feel guilty if I'm not posting it. Because my careless upon my blogspot. :p
So, I just get bored and suddenly a train of thought popped out from my mind. I’ve graduated from High School, finally, even though I’m still struggling out to get my dream place to continue for my education, even better, my life. But realizing that maybe I had no accomplished any gigantic achievements during high school, I’m still questioning my self: Why I was doing nothing during those 3 good damn years? Why I didn’t do much much and MUCH-ER better when the opportunities windows were opened for me? For God’s sake, I’m grateful for what God have given to me during high school: a great debate team, 2 years opportunities of Geoscience olympiad, Siswa berprestasi, MPK and OSIS fast track offering. (I swear, a teacher, who is an OSIS tutor even suddenly offered me a fast track for becoming the head of OSIS candidates without joining the organization a year before hand. Which I directly declined giggling like a moron with billion of stupid reasons)
So what’s the matter that make me sad and kinda regret during days after National Exam-and until now- was: How come I’ve just passed my high school time without anything great inside? Kenapa dulu-dulu selama kompetisi gue cuma bisa ngelakuin yg gue bisa? Please, I’ve been taught for doing best for anything since I was in kindergaten. How come? How come?
Maybe you will judge me as an ambitious bitch, but yeah, what’s life without achievements? When your surrounding even going to Germany for students exchange.
So then, why I’m choosing 2 years for my target of time?
Again, 2 years is the time until I reach my end of teenager times.
Again, I don’t wanna passed my golden time again without nothing’s great inside.
Again, it’s just only 2 months before my 18, before being legal. (though how much wishing for being forever 17, like The Cullens)
And tada… Bismillahirrahmanirrahiiim. Here’s the things that maybe I’m gonna to achieve before I reach my 20. You maybe wanna laugh on it out loud. But again, teenage dream speaks :)
1. Accepted in State University. This may be the gate. I don’t know, God is the one’s plan maker. I’m just wishing it so.
2. Joining any debating team again. I’m not lying when I said debate is kinda a part of my life. I feel like Harry being pulled from his muggle world.
3. Starting to read, and write again. My 3 years seems so far away from books, and of course, NEWSPAPER. When I’m typing this out, Mom is so sad because I read none of 3 newspaper she have bought today. I’m too busy for my twitter ‘life’, yes that’s the biggest factor. And don’t ask about writing, all I’ve written during high school were those stupid fan fictions, just a mere journal for my sispres scoring, and yes, just some stupid essay or speech for my school tasks. I’m even dazzling now how come I can write such as criminal stories and even about Konstantinopel, Spain-Andalusia conquest and its black market when I was in 7th grader, 13 years old -_- when I’m 17 just doing nothing.
4. Beneficial for other people. This feeling is just kinda indescribable. Big, and grow bigger and bigger for each day. And you know how much it’s hurt when my capacities haven’t enough yet to make any better benefit. :(
5. I want to teach. for what I got during 9 years study. No, I’m totally not into making teacher as my future job, but really, my Muhammad even said that’s why we learn, to share and give it to another people. I’m maybe that stupid for logarithm and its friend, but again, maybe there’s a little of what I’ve known during my 17 years old life. Especially I really really want to teach for the not having ones, I’m really wishing Allah will hear and make it come true :(
6. it’s what I really really want to achieve in my future varsity. I really really want to join any kind of debate or MUN international competitions. You maybe get it silly, but… Yeah… that’s one of my dreams. And I wish I can achieve it in my life.
7. The last is… Having a good man. Who knows Allah well, who knows what to talk, who knows what to laugh, who knows what to discuss, who knows how to lead, who knows how to handle me, and of course.. Who knows me. Yes, funny. But still, I’m an human with heart. Still needs a shelter, still needs a special place for share, still needs shoulder to cry on. Hahaha sound silly. But again, I have my own right in my own goal-semi-wishing list, right? ;)
Okay that’s all. Hope those all will be accomplished before my August 08 August 2013, before my 20, before the end of my teenagers. Maybe long enough, maybe no one read, but again, I must try to write again, right? :D
Regards,
Me.
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